No one talks enough about how weird June feels after graduation.
You spend four years sprinting toward the finish line, convinced that once you cross it, everything will fall into place. But here I am, diploma earned, stage crossed, inbox cleared, and still waking up some mornings wondering what I’m supposed to be doing. Graduation happened… so now what?
This past month has been a mix of everything: job interviews, onboarding paperwork, little flashes of peace, and random waves of panic. I accepted a gap-year job that starts in August. It’s something stable and I’m grateful for the opportunity to work, especially with such a bad job market right now. However, even with that lined up, it doesn’t fully feel real yet. I still feel caught between worlds. I’m no longer a student, but I don’t feel like a “real adult” either. (Whatever a “real adult” means, anyway.)
Of course there’s pressure, especially as a first-gen student. There’s the pressure to start strong, to have it together, to prove that the degree wasn’t a fluke, that I’m not wasting my education. Yeah, I’ve had moments where I’ve looked around and thought, “Is this it? Should I be doing more already?” But I’m also learning to push back on that voice, to remind myself that adjusting isn’t failure, but that it’s part of the process.
This month, I’ve also been sitting with a lot of unexpected feelings. Guilt for resting, grief for the parts of college I won’t get back, and disbelief that it’s actually over. However, I feel some pride, too. It’s quiet, but the pride is still there. I did something hard, something no one in my family has done before. Now I’m building something new: one step, paycheck, and awkward conversation with coworkers at a time.
If you’re a recent grad and still unemployed or unsure, please know you’re not behind. You’re not “lazy” or doing something wrong. I didn’t land my job until a month after graduation. It’s okay if yours hasn’t come yet. It will. Remember that it doesn’t have to be your dream job to be a good next step.
Post-grad life isn’t glamorous, but it’s real, and it’s mine, so I’m letting this month be messy. I’m letting myself sleep in, figure it out, and start small. I don’t need to reinvent everything right away. I just need to keep showing up: for my goals, healing, and for the version of me that never thought I’d get this far.
I’m going to keep showing up, and I hope you do, too. One soft, scared, determined step at a time.
– Toni <3